I want to say a word in defense of ugly people. I don’t mean people who are morally or spiritually ugly, but people who just had bad luck in their appearance.

Yesterday in an online discussion, an ugly woman posted her photo. She was unhappy and angry about something. Genetics had dealt her a cruel hand, and there wasn’t much she could do about it.

As for me, I’m probably a 5 out of 10: neither very ugly nor very good-looking. But I’ve known good people of both sexes who were just physically ugly. I always tried to treat them with the same friendship and respect as I did everyone else, and usually succeeded. At least I hope so.

Ugly people don’t “deserve” to be ugly, because nature is neither fair nor unfair. Fairness just doesn’t apply. We all get what we get. But ugly women are especially unlucky. Whether we like it or not, looks matter more in their case than they do for men.

Nobody much cares what men look like as long as we’re neither hideously ugly nor spectacularly handsome. But both men and women do care what women look like.

I once had a blind date with a woman I’d only met on the phone. She was intelligent, witty, and fun. But face to face, I discovered why she’d had to develop such wonderful personal qualities. Yes, she was ugly. Very ugly. I’m both sorry and ashamed to say that I just couldn’t get past it. I’m not a robot.

Some problems can’t be fixed, at least not in 2024. Some human problems can never be fixed. There will always be in-groups and out-groups, and sometimes they will dislike each other. Both individually and collectively, the most we can do is try to minimize the harm and give everyone his or her best chance for happiness.